Some of you may remember that a few months ago I was living in Flagstaff while going to school (my home, including DH and my older two kids, is in the Phoenix area). One Sunday in Sacrament Meeting I suddenly had a VERY strong prompting that I was to change my major to Special Education and work with special needs children. So I quit school (DD#3 and I were miserably homesick at the time and job prospects in the major I was working on were bleak; I was also nearly failing two classes) and moved home, intending to change my major. I knew I probably wouldn't be returning to school this fall as I would have to pay NAU back for some of the financial aid I received before I could get more (about $2000).
So now I work at a private school, in their on-site daycare which I love. But over the past few months as I've talked to the teachers there as well as other teachers I know (both private and public), I'm really having serious doubts that I want to work in education. I'm remembering now why I changed majors from Education to Wildlife Biology in the past. And now I'm doubting that prompting. Was it telling me to change majors, or just telling me that if I wanted to work with special needs children that I would have to change majors? I felt so good about it at the time, really excited, but now I'm really sorry that I dropped out and changed majors.
I'm wishing I'd at least stuck it out through the rest of the semester and then maybe taken some time off to decide (though I still don't know if I could have, as I was literally crying every day because I missed home and family so much and DD#3 was often crying herself to sleep; I'm sure the bipolar disorder and depression I have had an impact on that).
DH and I have felt for awhile that we would either give birth to or adopt a child with special needs. But now we're not even sure we want to add more children to our family. We're both pushing 40 and two of our kids are grown. The third child will be grown in just 6 years. We're not sure we want to start over. In addition, we're both starting to have some health issues and can't even afford to take care of ourselves. By the time our financial situation improves to where we can afford another child (especially a child with special needs), we may genuinely be too old!
So now I'm thinking that I misinterpreted the prompting or that maybe it even just came from my own emotions. I was so sure at the time, but now I feel almost certain that this is NOT the path I want to take. But if it truly was a prompting from God, do I need to follow this path even if I don't want to? I'm just so confused. I know I have some time to think about it, as I can't return to school for at least the next year anyway (until that $2000 is paid off).
I just don't know what to think of this. I do love children, but I'm not at all enthused about what teachers have to deal with these days from the bureaucracy, and working in the daycare has made me question whether I really have the energy and patience for working with children or having anymore. On the other hand, I love working with animals and love being outdoors, even in bad weather. I do volunteer work at animal care facilities and LOVE it. It would seem like a no-brainer to stick with the field I love more, even if jobs in that are aren't great (and who knows what they would be like when I graduate in 2 or more years), but I still remember how I felt when I had that prompting. I just don't know what to do.
What do you guys think?
Last edited by MormonMama; 07-23-2011 at 10:43 AM.
ua hepatitis c minimum wage elizabeth warren deloitte wtf fisher investments
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.